Friday, March 13, 2009

Again....Friendship.... has been almost a month and I am still where I find myself pulled.
My girlfriend "M" has been struggling with her issues of her abusive relationship that will cost her custody of her daughter....and she does not seem to be able to steer clear of the drama or have the want to dump her significant other....whatever that role would be seeing that a TRUE LOVING RELATIONSHIP is nothing like the one she has. Poor girl....However...she is allowing all of this to happen. I love her so much, want to be there for her and help her anyway I possibly can, without getting stomped on, avoided or lied to by her. She is doing all of that to close herself off from hurting others...her true friends...however doesn't she see that in doing that she hurts us more?!
I have offered her prayers, thoughts, blessings, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on...a hug when she feels down...and still we are where we were a year ago only her HEALTH has gone down hill and still coasting full steam ever more downward.
My GF Anastacia....has pointed out..."Some people don't want to be helped they like to have the drama, the attention."
Maybe....maybe not...only time will tell and for the record...I haven't nor can I walk away from her...wish I could life would be far less complicated...but I can't I love her too much. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers for I am afraid this is all just beginning.

I pray she finds the strength within herself to do what she knows is right.
I pray she can find the benefit of being there for her daughter above all else.
I pray she finds the ONE PERSON who will truly make her happy.

I pray she understands my personal dilemma here and loves me anyways.


Friday, March 6, 2009

Trying to get the Message...

well.....a few things have been happening to me as of late...
my personal relationship with "The Torch" has been very challenging to say the least!
Also I have started expierencing the night "Visitors" again.
Please don't assume I am crazy...I am not...well, maybe just a bit! LOL
But seriously folks there have been times in my life more so since my whole hospitilization and nearly dying episode...where I will be woke up about 2-4am randomly every couple of months by a spirit trying to talk or chat with me about some unfinished business or items they feel important that they can't move on. Don't get me wrong...I am certainly NO Ghost Whisperer...and I would much rather have my beauty sleep...and It is NOT a dream...I feel like a mixture of out of place out of me and the spirit are the only things in existence.
I can't describe it. I have had a girlfriends deceased father...whom showed up to me to let me know that I needed to tell his daughter and wife a few private things...things I knew NOTHING about. She was overwhelmed when I cautiously approached her about this.
Then...her deceased great, great grandmother came thru clear as day a few months later....i even drew a picture of her...for my Girlfriend....remarkably well...and folks I can't draw stick figures! ROFL...I am not a psychic or clarvoiant...I just have "Visitors"...sometimes wished i didn't.
I did get a visit from my deceased step sister...who for personal reasons for me...was the LAST person I wanted to ever see or hear from again. But she alerted me to issues of another sister...which were amazingly neccessary at the time...saved her life.
Then I went thru a divorce...had alot going on...and visitors no nothing for about nine months give or take. Then the other night....March 4,2009 I was laying on my was approaching dusk and then there they were. Out in my front yard....leaned up against a tree...wanting to approach me...they would bob back and forth...kinda like YOU or I would see someone out of the corner of our eye...shape and size but not much detail.
Then i woke up early that morning with someone casually knocking on my side kitchen door downstairs...I got up and went to door...they were gone...nothing.
So, I feel like they were asking for permission to come in and approach long as they are positive they are welcome. See I have blessed my home and land. So, that may be why the, when I get back home later this weekend...I will keep my eyes and ears open...I have a feeling, someone has something to say...let's hope I am listening. LOL

Blessed Be...

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

A moment of Grief...

My Girlfriend... "Princess S"has had a moment yesterday in her life where she was devestated. The loss of her older brother. He took his life. The topper of it is they hadn't talked in years and she didn't get any closure. Trust me folks not for a lack of trying on her part.
She is the kindest, nicest, most loyal and sincere woman I have ever known.
We have been like sisters for about 14 years now. I would trust her with my LIFE.
I felt horrible yesterday....
I had no idea how to help her, console her or be there for her.
All I could do was give her my love, blessings and prayers.
So...I am reaching out...asking all those out here...take time...
reach in yourselves...meditate, say a prayer, light a candle, perform a blessing ritual....just give her some peace and healing from you and your positive energy.
All kind and warmest thoughts are welcomed.