Random Thoughts from a divorced woman...

Sometimes my life feels like a soap opera....

I mean..I am the cheating Ex-wife living with her new man....talking to her Exhusband about kids, taxes and past memories right......
Then I have my insane family...wonderful girlfriends and the best job in the world.

So...why am I constantly looking at the other neighbor wondering why their grass is always greener?
Why do I mess with Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda thoughts and not focusing on the "I think I can's or I know I cans' ?"

Is this normal? only time will tell...(BTW...when I say cheating I mean starting another relationship before my divorce was final)...
I love my Boy Toy with all my heart...he makes it pitter patter and then some...he is funny, talks all the time...showers me with attention just not affection...

Then there is the Ex Husband....he showered me with affection just not attention...and I have known him since I was 14 yrs...we have 2 children and a part of me will always love him.

Why do I feel so torn...??

Morally...my marriage should have worked...MY FAULT
Ethically...I was right to leave him...he was just as responsible for our marriage failing...BOTH FAULTS
Emotionally....Both men make me laugh...cry...I should have known better (My Fault)
Physically....My Boy Toy is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G when we are together....Not a Fault..at all! LOL

So...tommorrow when I wake up or tonight when I go to bed I wonder if my head will shut up since I wrote it all down...
I am simply human...trying to sort this crap out....

OMG....I can't believe I dumped this out there for the world to see....
Peace..outta here...