well...today is a new day...LOL (took that from my BF)
I thought all night about my situation and realized...it only can get to me if I let it.
I called my mother this AM and apologized. Apologized for HOW I talked to her and my tone which I should not have used no matter what. I don't want my daughter to ever talk that way to me...so I owned it, my actions and asked for her understanding that obviously I am not very good at communicating with her and I was terribly sorry for my attitude yesterday. I also asked her to recall her relationship with her Sisters as well...and as bad as mine and Superwoman's is with Pill Popper....it doesn't even come close to my mother with her sisters. (guess the old adage you learn what you see) I dunno.
Then I explained to my mother...just because I am facing reality here concerning Pill Popper, doesn't mean I don't love her, just shows I am being realistic...I have only the past thirty some years to go by regarding her actions and drug abuse to draw from.
I am trying to be smart, prepared for when my sister "Pill Popper" does die, overdose or go back to prison.....I am ready as I can be...no more surprises. I told my mother if she wanted to be upbeat...fine...whatever she has to do for herself...but don't say how horrible I am while raising her three girls trying to face the facts. I pray my mother got it....This weekend we are going to Oklahoma for Drama Queen's Birthday...should be interesting...but I have vowed...DQ will be 9 it is her BDAY it will be fun for her! period.....No drama...no yelling...happiness because after all...haven't the kids been thru enough?
There...now you know...I may be weak...I may do stupid things like run my mouth when I shouldn't but I realize when I should own something I have done as well....
Hope everyone has a blessed weekend...for I am sure gonna try!